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Humor..

Småprat

9 svar · 309 visningar · startad av Bendro

Medlem sedan jan. 20013 039 inlägg
Frågan#1

One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head, and the golf ball lying right beside him.

"Goodness," says the golfer, and proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awaking, the little guy says, "Well, you caught me fair and square. I am a leprechaun. I will grant you three wishes." The man says, "I can't take anything from you, I'm just glad I didn't hurt you too badly," and walks away.

Watching the golfer depart, the leprechaun says "Well, he was a nice enough guy, and he did catch me, so I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things that I would want. I'll give him unlimited money, a great golf game, and a great sex life."

Well, a year goes past and the same golfer is out golfing on the same course at the 16th hole. He gets up and hits one into the same woods and goes off looking for his ball. When he finds the ball, he sees the same little guy and asks how he is doing.

The leprechaun says, "I'm fine, and might I ask how your golf game is?" The golfer says, "It's great! I hit under par every time." The leprechaun says, "I did that for you. Might I ask how your money is holding out?"

The golfer says, "Well, now that you mention it, every time I put my hand in my pocket, I pull out a hundred dollar bill." The leprechaun smiles and says, "I did that for you, too. And might I ask how your sex life is?"

The golfer looks at him a little shyly and says, "Well, maybe once or twice a week." The leprechaun is floored and stammers, "Once or twice a week? Is that all?!" The golfer looks at him and says, "Well, that's not too bad for a horny priest in a small parish!"

Medlem sedan sep. 20016 059 inlägg
#2

för lång för att orka läsas :x

Medlem sedan feb. 20016 388 inlägg
#3

Sorry Bendro, men jag kan inte låta bli att hålla mig lite OT här.

Ursprungligen av caze för lång för att orka läsas :x

Undrar just hur caze har klarat skolan när han inte orkar läsa roliga historier på en halv sida... :OO :e

Medlem sedan nov. 20018 492 inlägg
#4

Håller med caze... ;) :p

Medlem sedan mars 20014 214 inlägg
#5

Var är en lepr... whatever...

Medlem sedan jan. 20013 341 inlägg
#6

A prisoner escapes from prison where he had been kept for 15 years.As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it. He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him up to a chair, ties the woman to the bed, gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.

While he is there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent a lot of time in prison, and has not seen a woman in years. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you"

To which the wife responds, "I am glad you think that way. Sure, he has not seen a woman in years, but he was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too..."

Medlem sedan maj 20018 027 inlägg
#7

Med tanke på tjuvens läggning verkar det ju opraktiskt att binda snubben vid stolen :l

Medlem sedan maj 20003 652 inlägg
#8

Jag gillar den första, inte så illa för en präst i celibat :e

aleborg: LOL :e :e :e ... Undrar var vaselinet skulle användas till §e

Medlem sedan sep. 20016 059 inlägg
#9

Undrar just hur caze har klarat skolan när han inte orkar läsa roliga historier på en halv sida...

Skolan orkar man inte, men det är något man måste ta sig igenom.... Men om man slösurfar för att man är rastlös för tillfället så orkar man inte läsa en hur lång historia som helst, spelar ingen roll om den är rolig eller inte... så det så ;)

Medlem sedan jan. 20013 341 inlägg
#10

The Geography of a Woman

Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia.
She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.

Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan.
Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain.
Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina.
She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq.
She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada.
Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future.

After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan.
Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.

The Geography of a Man
Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a dick.

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