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Consulting! [ironi]

Småprat

13 svar · 155 visningar · startad av stoffe-2k

Medlem sedan apr. 200010 782 inlägg
Frågan#1

Consulting!

Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. I then looked around the room and saw that all the waitpersons had a spoon in their pocket.

When the waiter came back to check on our order I asked: "Why the spoon?" "Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84% more often than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 1.5 man-hours per shift."

As we finished talking, a metallic sound was heard from behind me. Quickly, the waiter replaced the dropped spoon with the one in his pocket and said: "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was rather impressed. The waiter continued taking our order and while my guests ordered, I continued to look around. I then noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their fly.

My curiosity got the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter: "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?" "Oh, certainly!" he answered, lowering his voice. "Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned, also found out that we can save time in the restroom." "How so?" "See," he continued, "by tying this string to the tip of ...you know... we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent"

"Okay, that makes sense, but... if the string helps you get it out, how do you put it back in?" "Well," he whispered, lowering his voice even further, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

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MVH - C
"Mina mappar är slut, kan ni sälja mig några nya...?"
- Förvirrad Mac-kund

Medlem sedan juni 200032 967 inlägg
#2

yiiihaaa! :e :e :e

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<A HREF="http://cartman.nu" TARGET=_blank>
if i'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer.</A>

Medlem sedan dec. 1999653 inlägg
#3

haha... påminn mig om att inte gå på det stället. :e

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nakoz :)

Medlem sedan okt. 20001 558 inlägg
#4

Stoffe >> Fick du jobba igår :e

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"I have to return some video tapes" - Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

Medlem sedan apr. 200010 782 inlägg
#5

Rossifumi: klart jag fick, där imot var det svårt att få tag på folk i Stockholm :e

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MVH - C
"Mina mappar är slut, kan ni sälja mig några nya...?"
- Förvirrad Mac-kund

Medlem sedan juni 200010 432 inlägg
#6

:e

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Ancilla, face mea laganum!

Medlem sedan juni 200032 967 inlägg
#7

hörde att tele-2s servrar gick på diesel igår. ganska kool. :)

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<A HREF="http://cartman.nu" TARGET=_blank>
if i'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer.</A>

Medlem sedan aug. 2000304 inlägg
#8

hörde att tele-2s servrar gick på diesel igår. ganska kool.

Sjönk dom inte då :q :q :q

(Har aldrig hört talas om att servrar klarar utav att §jr

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/CoolDude

Medlem sedan apr. 20002 882 inlägg
#9

CoolDude: Nä, du missuppfattade det där med diesel. De går på diesel, dvs det är stora kar med diesel där maskinerna hänger ovanför i ångorna och mår... :e

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It's software it's hardware, It's heartbeat is time-share
It's midwife's a disk drive, It's sex-life is quantised
It's self perpetuation a parahumanoidarianised - Back to humans!
Queen - Machines (1984)

Medlem sedan aug. 2000304 inlägg
#10

Jaha! Ja då förstår jag vad han menar.

Tack.

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/CoolDude

Medlem sedan juni 200032 967 inlägg
#11

tack för att ni klargjorde detta, gubbar.

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<A HREF="http://cartman.nu" TARGET=_blank>
if i'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer.</A>

Medlem sedan feb. 20005 891 inlägg
#12

Hehe.. Rätt kul :e

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"bättre att ha flyt än illa fäkta"

Medlem sedan aug. 2000304 inlägg
#13

Ja annars hade denna tråd åxå spårat ur totalt.. (som andra tenderar att göra)

Förlåt att jag var lite trög innan. :r

Men jag tycker om mig ändå. :e

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/CoolDude

Medlem sedan maj 20002 993 inlägg
#14

:e

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