--- title: "Humor tråd" type: "forum-thread" url: "https://www.webforum.nu/amne/smaprat/44966-humor-tråd" topic: "Småprat" topic_url: "https://www.webforum.nu/amne/smaprat" author: "His Divine Shadow" published: "2002-05-31T11:39:05.000Z" updated: "2002-05-31T14:51:25.000Z" replies: 6 views: 216 page: 1 pages: 1 language: "sv-SE" site: "webForum — webforum.nu" rights: "Upphovsrätten till varje inlägg tillhör dess författare." attribution: "Citera som: webForum, https://www.webforum.nu/amne/smaprat/44966-humor-tråd" --- # Humor tråd ## #1 — His Divine Shadow, 2002-05-31T11:39Z Här är nåra kula historier, in english: > The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, ''I'm off. The man should be here soon." > Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ''Good morning, madam. You don't know me but I've come to....'' > > ''Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you,'' Mrs. Smith cut in. > > ''Really ?'' the photographer asked. ''Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies.'' > > ''That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?'' asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. > > ''Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out.'' > > ''Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me.'' > > ''Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'' > > ''I hope we can get this over with quickly,'' gasped Mrs. Smith. > > ''Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure.'' > > ''Don't I know!'' Mrs. Smith exclaimed. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. ''This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London.'' > > ''Oh my god!!'', Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. > > ''And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'' The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture. > ''She was difficult ?'' asked Mrs. Smith. > ''Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look.'' > > ''Four and five deep?'' asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. > > ''Yes,'' the photographer said. > > ''And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.'' Mrs. Smith leaned forward. > > ''You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment ?'' > > ''That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work.'' > > ''Tripod??'', Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now. > > ''Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam ? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!'' > A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new > sweetheart for > Valentine's day, but they had not been dating very long. > After careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the > right note: romantic but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's > younger sister, he went to Nordstrom's and bought a pair of white gloves. > The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. > During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and > the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without > checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his > sweetheart with the following note: > > "I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the > habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for > your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons but she > wears short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but > the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the > past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me > and she looked really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the > first time as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I > have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in > them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from > wearing. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year! > I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night." All my love. > > P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a > little fur showing. Permalänk: https://www.webforum.nu/p/44966 ## #2 — mwin, 2002-05-31T12:03Z zZzZzZzZZZzZZzZZZ Permalänk: https://www.webforum.nu/p/687771 ## #3 — His Divine Shadow, 2002-05-31T12:09Z Va? Jag tyckte dom va roliga :l Permalänk: https://www.webforum.nu/p/687775 ## #4 — skyman, 2002-05-31T12:24Z /me har varit på Nordstrom i SanFransisco :) :e Permalänk: https://www.webforum.nu/p/687780 ## #5 — wooster, 2002-05-31T13:28Z hehe. :e dom var bra. Permalänk: https://www.webforum.nu/p/687820 ## #6 — Del Pero, 2002-05-31T14:19Z JAAAAAA! :D En särskrivning! :e Permalänk: https://www.webforum.nu/p/687857 ## #7 — caze, 2002-05-31T14:51Z zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :l Permalänk: https://www.webforum.nu/p/687867 --- Tråden på webben: https://www.webforum.nu/amne/smaprat/44966-humor-tråd